Forget impeachment, and who will be the Democratic presidential nominee, or more importantly, who will be the offensive coordinator of the Cleveland Browns. Duke Harry and Duchess Meghan Markle, of Sussex, England have left the royal titles behind and "will work to be financially independent."
The Trump economy is doing so well that even British royals are walking away from welfare.
The role of a buttoned-up duchess sporting her royal straight jacket was just too restricting for Markle's leftist proclivities. I doubt anyone will bump into them at Burger King even though the international burger franchise offered both of them jobs stating: "Dear Dukes: If you're looking for a job, we have a new crown for you." Burger King tweeted: "Harry, this royal family offers part-time positions."
The company explained: "We found out that the prince and the duchess decided to give up their roles in the royal family and will work to become financially independent. So, we have a proposition for you: Do as thousands of people and take your first steps in the world of work with us. You know that the crown will suit you perfectly."
Being a royal, especially one who is sixth in-line, is an ornamental job where closed mouths, duty and scrutiny are bartered for opulence, privilege and wealth.
Markle, however, grew tired of showing up and acting like she was interested. Besides, you know Markle did not want to name her first-born - Archie. The name has way too much of a Bunker undertone for any certified lefty. In addition, Markle did not want to play second fiddle to her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambridge, who will one day reign as queen.
Markle, an American divorcee, committed to become a British Duchess as daughter-in-law of the late, ill-fated Princess Diana and knew the deal when she said, "I do." It seems, if anything, being a princess is less fairy tale, and more microscope.
We fought a long, bloody and costly Revolution so that no American would ever have to kowtow to a genetic bloodline fixated to an anachronistic domain. The most ironic thing is that there are Americans who actually care. For the rest of us, the royals reside in Kansas City and play baseball in the American League's Central division.
The royal family and Manchester United are all that's left of the once mighty British Empire.
Apparently, the couple has decided to move to Vancouver, Canada with its nine months of winter. A friend, who resides outside of Liberaldom's Left coast capital, Los Angeles, marvels over how many Canadians flock to Southern California come January that it hardly feels like Mexico.
Los Angeles is Markle's old stomping grounds and would certainly be a first-choice destination where her royal wokeness will turn Harry's royal legacy into Hollywood party favors.
They are bound for the tireless crusade of social justice and starting their own charitable foundation. And who better to consult than the Clintons? They will now be free to fly around the world advocating for climate change regardless of how much carbon they burn or what Queen Elizabeth has to say.
Recall Margaret Thatcher scolding George H. W. Bush before the Gulf War, "Don't go wobbly, George." Millennial Harry went wobbly when an American C-list actress got her hooks in him.This should not be surprising as Harry once dressed as a Nazi at 2005 party, underscoring his dubious judgment. Likewise, British royals do not have the best record when it comes to marrying and mingling with the American arriviste.
The comparison to King Edward VIII, and Wallis Simpson rings, but somewhat hollow as Edward abdicated the thrown for the twice-divorced American in the 1930s that was nothing short of scandalous. Harry is sixth in line to the throne. Lines were shorter at a Hillary Clinton rally. Besides, no one is discussing the kind of permanent exile into which Edward and Wallis were banished.
If the royal family wanted to appease Harry and Meghan they should have offered them the Sudetenland.
Harry has always been in over his redhead and was never going to be king anyway and decided to swap his lifestyle for Meghan's.
Is "Dancing with the Stars" next?
Somewhere P.T. Barnum is laughing - hard.